I am so grateful for God and all He has given me, of Himself and who He is, and also just in good gifts. I'm thankful for our puppy Mocha, a brown lab with possible a mix of something else in him (he's turning out shorter than I thought he would!), my brothers, my amazing sisters, the love of the people I work with, and the twins I get to give the love of Jesus.
Last Friday was an amazing encounter with God. I was graciously invited to share about REVIVE Twin Cities with a youth group. To say the least, I was nervous. I have taken public speaking, I have preached the gospel in Ukraine, but still speaking in front of people, especially middle school age youth, makes me nervous. I was hoping to rely on God's power to speak what he wanted me to share about my experiences with Revive, but I ended up with barely any voice that night. Consequently, I got, to my ecstasy, I got to remain silent for most of the night. I chatted away with my second parents when we went out to dinner at Suburban in Excelsior and in their car (the weather was absolutely frigid and I felt like I was literally in a freezer when I walked outside). Anyway, my second mom prepared me beforehand on what to say beforehand and just had me prepare to respond "YES" when she asked me in front of everyone if the Revive method worked. I therefore only said "yes" and "awesome" (to say Revive was awesome) to the whole group.
I got that over with and it was then that I got a glorious ministry opportunity. I felt led to go up to the "popular table" where the kids didn't seem as engaged or interested. I specifically had a heart for a girl who seemed hard but I related her to a girl I met in the Ukraine and I knew this girl was soft inside just waiting to be told she was loved. My evangelist friend from a church I minister to very young children at started approaching the table, so I was backing down from what I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me. Then the still small voice of the Holy Spirit guided me to go back to this table and minister to these cool kids. I knew the Holy Spirit had specifically asked me to go to this table. Also, I would be comfortable at all of the other tables, but here it would be hard, for me. There was a boy at the table I found out his mom potentially may have cancer. We were to role play doing a REVIVE encounter. The kids were engaged for the most part with an evangelist I know leading. But then he left and I was thinking, "ok, I can either step back and let these kids do whatever they want to do, or I can step up and do a hard thing and actually have a reason for coming here tonight and do with these kids what would honor God."
The amazing thing is that God had let this weakness in, through the loss of my voice and my feelings of being scared to minister to these teens who needed the love of God, to display his glory. I went through the gospel with them and some looked at me with eyes of longing and interest. I went through the Revive method and also occasionally put in a question from a page my second mom wrote up to ask them as conversation starters. They were engaged with the process. I asked the African American boy what he thought about God. He said dejectedly that God is just someone who we see after we die. My heart really went out for this boy. I actually felt like crying after this encounter! I got to explain to them how God wants a relationship with us now, not just when we die, and I clearly put forth that salvation comes from believing in Jesus's sacrifice on the cross for us to be what gets us into heaven, not how amazing we are or our own good works. It's true that people "I'm the church" need to hear the real complete gospel as well as those outside. We can't just assume that everyone in the church gets it. These teens seemed like they were learning something new. They all wanted to pray for a deeper relationship with the Lord.
I prayed for them all to receive a deeper relationship with God, and it was a great little gathering. I hope the boy understood what I was saying and that he will receive it and receive God in his life to take care of him and give him the love that he needs. He seemed like he was put together but also hurting inside. The kids were listening and tolerating my voice as I got to share the gospel with them. I felt weak, but because I did, God used me through that and despite that.
The message: God used me in my weaknesses. He got glory. These kids who were supposed to be learning to share the gospel got to hear the gospel themselves. These five teens stayed the longest in the whole room and were able to pray effectively for a deeper and closer relationship with God. I hope this inspires you to come closer to the Lord and let your ministry to others flow not from your own self, timeline and abilities, but from that intimacy with the Lord.
xoxo,
ashley
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